This dichotomy is another one that people frequently get confused on. Let’s look at some basic thinker/feeler differences
Information is processed through a feeling function before a thinking function. This information is either internalized and compared against a self-created system or externalized through a system that relies heavily on society and what other people believe (this is the simplest way I can put this).
Feelers rely on their feeling function when making decisions. They ask themselves how does this make me or others feel. Because of this, they are frequently seen as compassionate or warm people, as they are naturally more attuned to other people’s feelings, or at least their own. When I discuss functions, we’ll see in what instances feelers can be rather callous. On the contrary-
Information is processed through a thinking function first. Again, this information is either internalized or externalized. Internalized logic is much like internalized feeling- it is a self created system and viewed as nearly impervious to anything. On the contrary, an externalized thinking function tends to be more malleable. Those who use the externalized thinking function tend to be better at mobilizing (actually getting stuff done, at best). Those who internalize information logically tend to, at worst, be impractical, as their system is more abstract. While in some ways the internalized thinking function is very useful, it can manifest itself in the form of sitting around and thinking, rather than doing, all day (especially seen with xNTPs).
After reviewing these differences, it can be easy to see why thinkers can come off as colder than feelers.
What Feelers may say to Thinkers
You’re not compassionate
YOU’RE MEAN I HATE YOU
You don’t care about people
You’re too logical
Things aren’t that black and white
A Thinker to a Feeler
You need to be more logical
That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say
Will you calm down?
You don’t make any sense
Why are you angry at me? I didn’t know you implied you wanted a kiss!
I’m sorry I forgot your birthday for the eighth year in a row!
Thinkers can be somewhat oblivious at times (even those who use sensing functions). However, a thinker with a well-defined feeling function can be very attentive. As you learn more about functions and personality, it is important to self reflect, and see what you can work on.